...More clothes?

(This post has been edited because I rethought some things and learned new info.)

Today I was thrown into a state of disarray when a teacher at the center turned to me in the middle of a conversation and said "malabis", which is 'clothes'. "What?" I asked him, and my friend D. turned to me and said, "You need to put your coat on."

-"Why? I'm completely covered."
-"It's your form. You need to cover it."

In my state of shock, I mumbled about how I've seen other girls in tighter clothes than what I was wearing, but no one commented or validated my observation.

I put the coat on.

Granted, we were in the street walking to a nearby men-only, falafel place that wasn't keen on having women around. Fine. But we ended up standing about 20 feet away from it while D. went and got the food anyway. So, what's the point?

My real problem with this is that the teacher was imposing his own sense of propriety on me. Guess what, teacher friend? I'm not here so you can tell me what makes you comfortable! I've seen PLENTY of girls on the street covered from head to toe in SKIN TIGHT clothes. What I was wearing was completely appropriate.

When people go to another country, the best thing to do for most involved is to adapt as necessary. After catching the flow of what's expected, life is much, much easier.

But guess what? I didn't come here to follow the status quo, and it seems the flow I've caught is still not enough for some people. In allowing this country, people, religion and culture to change me, I too, will change it. If I want to walk down the busy streets on a hot day without my coat, then my god, if I feel comfortable then I'm going to do that! If people think that I'm a slut because my forearm isn't covered... well? Who's problem is that?

And in case you didn't know, western women are considered slutty. (Russian & German women specifically have a bad reputation here.) It is quite likely that any time an Arab man looks at me, he is probably thinking that I'm thinking about sex.

Thank you American television!

If I went by the ignorant American stereotype of an Arab, I would have never come here in the first place. Like the ideas that they are all potential terrorists, cult-like in their praise for Allah and fine with suppressed women. I don't think that, obviously, nor do I think that every/most/even one Arab man that comes near me is likely to kidnap me and cut my throat.

I have bent so much already because I want to catch a flow here, but I'm not going to keep covering, covering and hiding myself to make everyone comfortable.

"Why cause a fuss?"

....because I'm not Arab and I'm not going to pretend I am. Please, let's just pretend we came here to start changing the world around us. If I don't interact with the common people in ways they don't expect, how can new thoughts, feelings and ideas ripple through?

Feelings are definitely working their way through me right now; maybe they'll work their way to you.

And please, please... trust me in my ability to know what boundaries to push, and which ones not to. I've test the waters.. I know what I'm doing, thanks.





I'm not going to keep covering up. I'm comfortable the way I am. If that makes you uncomfortable, good luck with letting it keep you awake at night.


With peace,
Candiace


Ps- It's quite possible that my 'teacher friend' told me to put on my coat because we were going to pick up sandwiches from a place where the men were rude. If that's the case, he did it so I would be more comfortable, but unfortunately it wasn't explained to me like that. I was told by D. it was because my form, and explained that I should never go myself because I shouldn't cause a fuss. (.....)